[He knew it was a bad idea to keep his suspicions to himself. It had always been a bad idea in the past not to share everything with the rest of the team at STAR Labs, they were the best minds in the city, but this was...this was different.
See, he knows Iris. He knows Iris better than anyone, that's just a fact, it's never mattered how he felt about her, he still knows her. He knows her smile, and her walk, and he knows that when she was a little girl, she could spend hours looking at the stars, and he knows how disappointed she'd been when they learned in school that stars weren't just holes in the sky with something really bright behind them.
So he'd sat there while everyone dictated advice to him about how to take down this meta, this impossible hole in the world with the night sky, with galaxies inside her who flared a light from the beginning of the universe, and then he'd turned his comm off and walked—not run, walked—out to meet her.]
Iris. I know it's you. C'mon, I know you, I'd know you anywhere.
[He can't do this. Not as the Flash facing down an enemy. He reaches up and pushes the cowl off.]
[The first time it happened, the first time burst from her like a shield it was because some creep was giving her a hard time, wanted her number and wouldn't take no for an answer and when she turned to leave and he moved to grab her arm and stop her-- he burned. She burned with him her light and he was probably lucky to leave with some scars and some messed up vision for a few days because the next time she did it?
Someone died. A man died because he had a gun and he was robbing a bank teller and Iris was in the wrong place at the wrong time (becoming the story of her life) and when he swung the gun towards her, he didn't last long enough to even aim it. There wasn't even anything left of him for the police to deal with besides a pile of dust, scorch marks and several eye witnesses where the only thing they witnessed was a bright light like a star exploding right before there.
She'd puked in the alley after. She killed someone for the first time ever and yes, he was a bad man and he was going to hurt people but that didn't explain why it felt so good to let the light flare off her fingers. Why she didn't feel special, she felt invincible when she opened her fist and the stars lay in her palm.
Barry does it. Barry uses his speed to save people. She uses her light to punish the ones who live in the darkness.]
I seem to remember asking you that same question.
[Her fists are tight at her side, ready to let the light flare if he comes any closer. But he didn't come speeding towards her, and he's taken off the mask. It's Barry, not the Flash in front of her. But she doesn't feel like Iris anymore. She doesn't know who or what she is right now.]
[And there it is. Because she had asked him, and his answer had been the same: to protect you. Now he does know what it's like to be on the other end of that, and turns out it sucks, a lot. Iris has been in danger, she's been in trouble and she'd wanted to protect him, so she hadn't told him.
He can tell how close she is to lashing out at him, it's his job to keep her from doing that, or if he can't do that, to, well. To take her down. But it's Iris, and things never go according to plan when it comes to Iris.
He takes the chance, and walks a little closer, not looking at the fists at her sides, looking at her face, her eyes. They're filled with stars now, nothing like the way she used to look, but it's still her, she's still in there somewhere.]
People are scared, Iris. They're scared of what you've been doing. Iris, I want to help you, please, tell me how to help you.
[That's the punchline because she's scared too. What if she lets the stars take over completely and there's no Iris West left at all. What if Iris West is already gone and this is all she is. Someone people are scared of. Someone who kills. Someone who likes it.]
You can't.
[Iris tenses when he steps closer but she keeps a tight grip on her light. For now.]
[Barry keeps his distance, but spreads his arms, open, defenseless.]
You won't hurt me, Iris. I know you. I don't— [He laughs, shaking his head slowly, looks up at her again, and now there's a smile, a wonder in his face that wasn't there before. He's always loved Iris, but now? She's incredible. Can they help her? Maybe. STAR Labs has helped other metahumans find ways to rein in their powers. It's possible they could do the same for Iris.
But right now, he's not thinking about that. He's thinking about her.]
[Iris is laughing because she's pretty sure if she doesn't, she'll cry. What's happening to her, it is amazing. Amazing and terrible and terrifying and wonderful and empowering and lonely. It's not like Barry's speed. The worst he could do by accident is knock someone over. She's killed people.
She might kill her family. Her friends. Her best friend.]
I can't always control it. And when I can-- You get a rush from saving people right? I get the same rush from punishing the ones that get away. You can't help with that.
[What she's saying is scarier than what she can do, what he's seen her do in the distance, arriving too late to stop her. Her light is so bright, they just...stop existing. Cisco had estimated her average temperature, but what difference did the numbers make? What she could do was impossible, or had been, just like what he could do, and now he wants her to embrace it, learn it, train like he does, help people.
But...she can't like it. Not really. Right?]
Iris, you can't mean that, it's just, it's helping people, and sometimes...yeah, sometimes catching the ones that get away is really satisfying, and sometimes when they're really awful you wish... [You wish you could just step in and remove them from the world.] ...but you can't. Keep doing that. We can help you, Iris, I can help you, just, you have to let me.
[He's getting closer. Slowly. Small step by small step, hands still held out at his sides, unarmed, truce, he's getting closer.]
[She knows it's scary. It terrifies her. She shouldn't like but she does. And how is she supposed to help people with starlight? It's not like she can zip around the city like some people and pull cats from trees and stop muggers with what she does. Those trees burn and the muggers disappear when she shows up.]
Stop, Barry--! [Iris doesn't have full control of her powers yet. It's tied to her emotions and she's angry and scared of hurting him so when he gets too close, her fist flexes at her side and there's a flash of blinding light. He's fast, he can dodge it if he tries.]
[He can dodge. He'd half expected it, although he'd hoped it wouldn't happen, but it does and he evades the blast in a streak of crackling lightning, ending up behind her, blinking spots of afterimage from his eyes. And as soon as the light dissipates, he's back in front of her again, exactly as close as he'd been before.]
I'm still fine, Iris. I don't think you'll hurt me. I trust you not to hurt me.
[Is it unfair of him to say that? Probably. But she needs to learn how to control her powers, and this is the only way he knows how to help her before someone else gets hurt, or worse.
He doesn't come closer again, but he keeps talking, slow and quiet, with a sad half-smile.]
Remember that really bad thunderstorm when we were kids? The blanket fort? You didn't want to be scared then, but you were, and so was I, and we both pretended we weren't. I'm scared now, Iris, and I know you are too. But I don't want to be scared of you. I'm not. Don't be scared of yourself.
[Who doesn't like doughnuts, he'd asked, because seriously, who doesn't like doughnuts? Barry loves doughnuts, but he doesn't think he loves doughnuts as much as Kara Danvers. He's not sure he could love anything as much as Kara Danvers loves things. She's the happiest person he's ever met. It's like walking next to sunshine.
He could get used to it, if he's honest. Obviously he wants to get home, he needs to, he already misses Joe and Iris, and Caitlin and Cisco and even Wells, and he can't just leave Central City without a hero. But this feels like a, a chance to take a break. And he takes breaks, Caitlin and Cisco make sure, but this time it's with someone who gets why it's so hard to take a break, and that feels different.
They're perched on the back of a car, with another box of doughnuts—Kara had claimed one place had the best, Barry had asked how he was supposed to believe that, clearly they needed to try a lot more—and he's actually comfortably full for once.]
I can't believe National City has a drive in movie theater. That's so cool. You come here a lot?
[Part of Kara feels bad for being here—a bright smile stretched across her face, a box of delicious doughnuts resting on her lap—because she'd promised to help Barry get home, hadn't she? Told him if he helped her (or rather, Supergirl) take down Livewire and Silver Banshee, she and her friends would do everything in their power to get him back home. So there's a little guilt. The reminder that she should be keeping to her word, not temporarily breaking it by extending the stay of Barry Allen's time on her Earth.
That said, it's not like Barry declined her invitation of doughnuts and a drive in movie. No, he accepted with that wide smile of his. So maybe there's no need for her to feel bad or guilty. After all, if there's no immediate rush for him to leave tonight, then she should stop worrying about keeping him from Central City and the heroics he performs as both Barry Allen CSI and the Flash, and start enjoying what time she has left with him. Because he has to go home eventually. It's something Kara has accepted, even if she wishes he could stay.
It would've been nice to have another hero around, someone capable of the impossible, a friend who understands what it's like to lead dual lives and the separate responsibilities and pressures that come with them. Yes, she has her cousin, Kal–El, but Kal (or Clark or Superman, depending on the time and place) isn't around as much as Kara would like him to be. But then, at the same time, when faced with a problem or dealing with a struggle, Kara prefers not to go flying to her cousin, for as much as she'd sometimes like to, she still feels the need to establish herself without being defined by Superman.
Now isn't the time for those thoughts, though. Now is the time for digging into the best doughnuts in National City and spending time with Barry. At Barry's question, Kara touches the side of her glasses, adjusting the way they sit on her face. It's more of subconscious thing than anything.]
Uh, no. No, I don't. This is actually my first time coming here.
[It’s cute, the way she touches her glasses all the time when she’s wearing them. He’s watched Wells—two of them—fidget with their glasses before, but it’s not the same. They do it because they need them to see. She touches hers like she’s reassuring herself they’re still there. The mask is still there.
What would it be like, to wear a mask in your every day life instead of when you were out saving people? Really lonely, he thinks. Really hard to remember who you really were, except around only a few people. Everyone knows Barry Allen, almost no one knows the Flash, but for her, almost no one knows Kara Zor-El.
Which is her alien name. That’s so cool. The thought makes him grin at her again, bright and excited. He’d never thought he’d meet someone like her.
And yeah, they each have their own box of doughnuts, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t just speed-snatched one out of her box.
[Even though it hadn't exactly been the most dignified friend date, Barry hadn't quite been able to shake it. It had been fun, going out with Caitlin. She'd been fun. And her hungover embarrassment the next morning, that had actually been. Pretty cute. And he'd met her for lunch one day, and then gone to dinner with her one evening after work at the CCPD, and both of them had been fun and neither of them had been interrupted by metahumans and he'd started. Thinking a little.
They both needed to move on, right? Him from Iris. Her from Ronnie. And it makes sense that maybe they could try...doing that...together. Right? The idea made him move with a little bounce in his step wherever he went, and made the Flash a little lighter on his feet, and when he gets back to STAR Labs that night, he sticks around after everyone's gone, and he knows that lingering in the doorway to the Cortex makes him look like an awkward teenager, but he can't help it.]
Um. Hey, Caitlin. How're you doing? With everything?
[ Caitlin had been mortified after the night of too much drinking and karaoke, and she'd been so sure Barry wouldn't have wanted to hang out with her again. She'd been so drunk, worse than she'd done before, and he'd been so good to her. He'd humored her with the singing and held her hair while she puked, stayed with her until she fell asleep. She wouldn't have blamed him if he didn't want anything to do with her. Instead, he'd gently teased her, and she felt terrible for doubting him.
They'd been out a few more times after that, and she'd started to feel... hopeful. After Ronnie, she was sure she wouldn't feel like this again, that she couldn't feel like this again. She was a bit more cheerful that day, a bit more like she'd felt before the explosion. She lingers in the Cortex, entering the last bits of data from the readings on his suit. It's not anything she has to do tonight, but it gives her an excuse to be the last one around.
She turns in her chair, smiling at him. ]
I'm... I'm okay, Barry. Really. How are you doing?
[After everything that's happened to all of them, it's really nice to see her smiling like that. Like she isn't worried, like they can relax a little. It gets him pushing off from the door frame and coming closer, hands in his pockets as he leans against the counter.]
I'm okay. A little worried about my dad, y'know, after what happened. But, I mean, I know he'll be fine. He's fine. So I'm fine.
...listen, um. [He rubs the back of his neck, wondering why this is hard all of a sudden.] I was thinking earlier about how...we were, y'know, we went out, and. [He huffs a little laugh, bracing his hands on either side of his hips as he tips his head, ducking it, a little sheepish, and slants a sidelong look at her.]
I kinda...Caitlin, I. Like you. And I didn't really expect that, but you're really...you're warm, and you really care about everyone, and you're really pretty when you're concentrating, and. Um. I know it's not a great time for, for either of us, and if you want to tell me off, you absolutely can, but... [And he trails off, because he's been talking for a while and if he doesn't trail off, he'll never stop.]
[ He called her out on her tell, once, that she bites her lip when something's bothering her. She may not have him down so pat yet, but she's catching on. That look, she's seen it before, when he's trying to organize his thoughts. When he's thinking too hard about it.
It's entirely endearing.
She can't say she's expecting this, though. She isn't expecting to hear him say that he's been thinking about the same thing she has. And now he's putting it into words, in his way, of course. The rambling alone makes her smile grow wider. She should interrupt him, save him from the way his words keep spilling out. But then she might not hear any more of those compliments that bring a little color to her cheeks.
There's a lull, and that's when she'll take her chance. She moves closer to him, rolling in her chair until she can put her hands over his, until she can draw them away from his hips. ] Barry. I don't want to tell you off. I — I didn't expect this either, I didn't think I could like someone like this again. Like I like you. You've given back so much to this city. As the Flash and as Barry Allen, CSI. You help make this place feel alive again. And you have the biggest heart of anyone I know.
[ She squeezes his hands gently. ] So yeah, maybe it isn't a good time, but... I think it is.
[Barry swallows a little as Caitlin doesn't push him away or give him reasons against it. She reaches out and takes his hands, and he lets her, spreading his fingers and settling their hands palm to palm. His smile is small and quiet, but it grows as she talks, and finally he squeezes her hands and tugs gently.]
C'mere?
[It comes out as more of a question than he'd expected, but maybe that's understandable. This is new, it's unexpected for both of them, and even Barry isn't entirely sure what he'll do next if she gets up out of that chair and comes closer. Well, he has a few ideas, he'd increasingly like to kiss her right now, but...it's new. And going slow, it's not in his nature anymore, but he can, if that's what she wants.]
[ It doesn't take much to encourage her out of her chair. Truth be told, he didn't need to say anything, didn't need to tug on their joined hands. She would have gotten to her feet without prompting. Caitlin wants to put her arms around him, which would be a touch awkward given him standing and her being seated.
But him asking, him pulling gently at her hands, it makes this even better. They'd both said the right words, and neither of them are really given to speaking empty ones, but words are much more effective with actions behind them. She uncrosses her legs and uses his hands to pull herself standing, not wanting to let go.
On her feet, she's closer to him now, but not close enough. Standing makes how their fingers are interlaced awkward; she lets go, only to rest her hands on his shoulders. She doesn't want to go slow — she's spent a year mourning Ronnie, a year with her life on hold. A year holding her breath. Her hands slide past his shoulders and around the back of his neck, and it's her turn to tug ever so gently. It's permission, it's asking, just short of a demand. ]
[Her fingers trace along his neck, and his hands find their way to her waist, and his throat is dry, but he's smiling as he leans in. HIs lips brush just barely against hers, once, twice, wondering for a few moments if this is really what they should be doing...before he pulls her carefully against him and the next kiss is deeper, it's real.
He knows Caitlin, he's seen the way she's been hurting, and he's been hurting, and this doesn't hurt. She's warm and kind and beautiful, and at least for right now she's here with him, and they're going to take a break from hurting.]
[ She'd be lying if she said she hasn't been thinking about this. It's a more recent thing, to be sure, and maybe it wasn't in the Cortex when she imagined it, but the most important parts are here. Her nerves are a touch rattled, her mind having to take a moment to shove aside the thought that she shouldn't be doing this. That alone may have been harder to do, if she hadn't already taken her ring off a while back and put it away.
He smiles as he leans close, and she smiles back, her eyes closing as she lifts her chin. There's two almost near-misses, two barely-there touches, and there's a second where she worries that he's changed his mind. But it's gone as his hands grip her waist carefully, as their lips touch and part and she breathes him in. One hand slides up his neck, her fingers threading through his short hair. It's an urgent, needy touch; she's wanted him and this and part of her can't believe it's happening. ]
[Should it be happening? Maybe, maybe not, but now that it's started, now that Caitlin's fingers are running over him, bringing him closer, Barry is only thinking about her. He turns, leaning against the computer work station behind him and pulling her flush.
Someone else might walk in, or walk back in, or the metahuman alarm might go off and he'll need to be somewhere else, but there will always be a something-else that will come up. He doesn't want to wait around for a perfect moment anymore, he wants to make one.]
[ Their bodies press together, a preview of just how neatly and perfectly they'd fit together if there were to move beyond this. Caitlin can feel how warm he is, wonders if her skin is the same fever hot to him. Her other hand slips around the back of his neck, dipping under the collar of his shirt, her palm pressing flat along the back of his shoulder.
Her lungs burn faintly; she needs to take a breath but she doesn't want this to stop. If she pulls away, will he decide that he regrets this? But the ache in her chest grows insistent, and she turns her head just slightly, just enough to break the kiss, her lips dragging to the corner of his mouth, his jaw, as she catches her breath. ]
[Barry's breath catches a little as she pulls back, and he tips his head to one side with a smile, closing his eyes at the careful touch of her lips against his jaw. His hands loosen a little, not letting her go but getting more comfortable like this.]
Caitlin... [He takes a breath, looks down, shifts to rest his head against hers.] Yeah, I think it's a good time. It's never a great time for anything, right? So maybe we need to make our own time.
We'd be waiting forever if we — [ Still breathless, she has to pause, to give her body a moment to catch up. ] If we waited for it to be a great time. There's always going to be something. It's just ... our lives now.
[ After the explosion, after Barry came out of his coma, their lives were always going to be complicated. Being the Flash, being part of the team that supported the Flash, these aren't jobs you can take a vacation from. Or a leave of absence. A day off here or there, that would be possible, but they both will always be needed. ] We can definitely carve out time for ourselves. Even if we can't get away from here. This place is awfully big and awfully empty.
[Look, okay, there was probably a better way to do this, but time had been literally ticking down, and this guy had already proven he could evade the Flash when he showed up as the Flash, so the only way Barry had been able to think of to get to him without getting spotted was as, well, as Barry. And the only easy way into this incredibly exclusive gala without being the Flash had been through Lisa Snart and her counterfeit invitations for self and plus-one, because of course it was.
Which is how he found himself adjusting the bow tie of a tux and really wishing he didn't need to leave the red suit behind. Luckily Lisa already knows who he is, that's one reason he'd decided, reluctantly, to do things this way. He doesn't look up right away when he hears her come in, still trying to get the tie to lie flat, before finally undoing it and speed-tying it again, better this time.]
This is probably the weirdest thing I've had to do so far since I started being the Flash. [Then he turns around and:] Oh wow. Lisa, you look amazing. ...you look so far out of my league.
[This was absolutely not how Lisa had expected her night to go down. She'd been planning this job for weeks, legitimately bought the dress she was wearing tonight, and had already researched her targets... and now she found herself with a plus one.
And that plus one was none other than The Flash.
She was not seeing the appeal in this whatsoever, but it was nice to be owed a favor, really. She was going to keep telling herself that. And she still had every intention of leaving with at least something shiny in spite of it all. She liked a challenge.
Her grin is pleased and a little wicked as she takes him in, accepting his compliment by way of her slow once-over, lingering on his bow tie, then his lips, and finally back up to his eyes.]
[Okay, by the time she gets back up to his lips, there's a red tinge to his cheeks, the kind of thing that's usually hidden by his cowl, but he still squares his shoulders and shakes it off. Not important, not gonna think about that, there's other stuff to worry about right now.]
I mean, don't get me wrong, I've seen a lot of weird stuff. Don't even get me started on King Shark. But usually I can just be, you know. The Flash.
[And he's nervous. This is uncharted territory on a couple levels, and he has to hunt down a villain in the middle of it all. One more glance into the mirror, and a scrunched-up 'I guess this will have to do' look, before he turns back to Lisa and offers a resigned smile.]
Thanks for helping with this. Are you ready?
[They aren't running there, there's a car service, which in itself is making Barry feel uncomfortably like they're going to prom.]
[Well, it's a small reaction, but it'll have to do. She'll consider it a win.
She almost wants to reassure him. To somehow explain that just because he isn't hiding his face it doesn't mean that his is the one he has to show. That some people don't need a mask to blend in, disappear, or be someone else entirely.
Masks are for people who care too much.]
Don't thank me yet.
[She smirks as she steps further into his space and adjusts his bow tie infinitesimally. It still looks better, somehow.]
[As it turns out, the ride over isn't horribly awkward, and he can follow Lisa's lead more easily than he'd expected as she breezes her way in, all glittering smiles and little winks at distant people in the crowd. They're looking at her, not at him, which gives him a little more freedom to get his bearings.
There's no real sign yet of the guy he's after, but they hadn't thought there would be until he was ready to make his move, so once he's adjusted a little more to the fancy reception atmosphere, he's got some time to look around. And maybe to think how, well, yeah, how nice it is to have Lisa in his corner. She knows what she's doing. Better than he does, that's for sure, but he can fake it well enough, and she can fake it really well, and they're actually blending in.
Which is why, when he spots a beat cop Joe is friends with, he starts in that direction without really thinking about it, fully intending to say hi, entirely forgetting that, technically speaking, he has a criminal on his arm.]
[Lisa can spot a cop in another room with three walls between them and her eyes closed, and she'd been doing her damnedest to keep some distance between them and herself. She'd spin at the right moment, duck her head and use her hair as a shield, turn and laugh at a joke no one told, flitting in and out of conversations, and sure, it was just as much a front, a character, but it was armor and camouflage, too.
So when Barry starts for a cop, Lisa's hand on his arm tightens, but he's not stopping, and ripping away from him would draw more attention than... well, maybe she could draw a less comfortable kind of attention.
She takes a breath and steps fast, gracefully in spite of her heels, and curves in front of Barry just as they approach a pillar that would put them out of sight of the cop, though not out of sight from the rest of the room, necessarily. She grips his lapels simultaneously and pulls him into her, her back against the column, and any further warning he's going to get comes in the form of an absolutely lethally wicked grin before she's kissing him hard.]
Wh— [He only gets that far because she grins at him before, oh god, melting him, and one hand actually scrabbles against the smooth stone of the pillar, trying to get a grip on it instead of on her as he lets out a little surprised whine against her lips.
Any thoughts of saying hi to someone he knows at the party have long since evaporated, even in just a few seconds.
When she lets him go, about a year later, he's wide-eyed and flushed, staring at her in surprise from only a few inches away.]
[It's deeply flattering, satisfying, to have such an effect on another person. And it's not as though she didn't enjoy herself, and she'd be lying if she didn't admit to being more than a little surprised at his... pliability. She hadn't expected the kiss to last as long as it did, but she was rather loathe to break it.
Her hands slide over his chest, smoothing his lapels, then up to cup his face, thumbs stroking along his jaw, wicked smile curving into a smirk.
When she answers him her voice is low, mouth still just inches from his. She almost considers lying.]
[Barry glances back over his shoulder, not seeing the guy he'd been heading toward. Which is probably good, because, uh.]
...I guess I, uh, yeah. Technically, yeah. But not, like...you know, not on purpose.
[The way she's touching him is really distracting. It shouldn't be, he knows it's all an act, but one of his hands has found her waist, and it's hard to step back. Hard to step back, hard not to lean in again—
[The most convincing acts have a little bit of truth to them.
The truth is, she's enjoying touching him. Would enjoy continuing to touch him. Would definitely enjoy pushing more of his buttons and dragging this out, whirling him in circles until he can't remember which way is up, and then vanishing without a trace, but she's not there to play with him.
Well. She's not there entirely to play with him. She's there for something shiny, and that means she should probably set him back on track.
Her smile twitches as she hums quietly, accepting his eventual answer, and explanation.
Her thumb strokes over his lips, her voice an exaggerated, sultry purr.]
Relax.
[And then she takes pity on him.]
Any sign of your mark?
[Like she hasn't just utterly sidetracked him on purpose.]
[How's he supposed to relax when she keeps touching him like that, that's what Barry would like to know. Not helpful. But he tries, he takes a breath and shifts away enough to give the room a scan.]
...yeah. I think so. Just came in.
[And just like that, he's all business, face stony as he watches the man swagger in, his jacket almost hiding the equipment underneath it.]
You see him? White dinner jacket thing. Kinda lumpy. Looks way too happy to be here.
iris is a meta too idk
IRIS IS A VILLAIN WHAT
See, he knows Iris. He knows Iris better than anyone, that's just a fact, it's never mattered how he felt about her, he still knows her. He knows her smile, and her walk, and he knows that when she was a little girl, she could spend hours looking at the stars, and he knows how disappointed she'd been when they learned in school that stars weren't just holes in the sky with something really bright behind them.
So he'd sat there while everyone dictated advice to him about how to take down this meta, this impossible hole in the world with the night sky, with galaxies inside her who flared a light from the beginning of the universe, and then he'd turned his comm off and walked—not run, walked—out to meet her.]
Iris. I know it's you. C'mon, I know you, I'd know you anywhere.
[He can't do this. Not as the Flash facing down an enemy. He reaches up and pushes the cowl off.]
...why didn't you tell me?
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Someone died. A man died because he had a gun and he was robbing a bank teller and Iris was in the wrong place at the wrong time (becoming the story of her life) and when he swung the gun towards her, he didn't last long enough to even aim it. There wasn't even anything left of him for the police to deal with besides a pile of dust, scorch marks and several eye witnesses where the only thing they witnessed was a bright light like a star exploding right before there.
She'd puked in the alley after. She killed someone for the first time ever and yes, he was a bad man and he was going to hurt people but that didn't explain why it felt so good to let the light flare off her fingers. Why she didn't feel special, she felt invincible when she opened her fist and the stars lay in her palm.
Barry does it. Barry uses his speed to save people. She uses her light to punish the ones who live in the darkness.]
I seem to remember asking you that same question.
[Her fists are tight at her side, ready to let the light flare if he comes any closer. But he didn't come speeding towards her, and he's taken off the mask. It's Barry, not the Flash in front of her. But she doesn't feel like Iris anymore. She doesn't know who or what she is right now.]
To protect you.
no subject
He can tell how close she is to lashing out at him, it's his job to keep her from doing that, or if he can't do that, to, well. To take her down. But it's Iris, and things never go according to plan when it comes to Iris.
He takes the chance, and walks a little closer, not looking at the fists at her sides, looking at her face, her eyes. They're filled with stars now, nothing like the way she used to look, but it's still her, she's still in there somewhere.]
People are scared, Iris. They're scared of what you've been doing. Iris, I want to help you, please, tell me how to help you.
no subject
You can't.
[Iris tenses when he steps closer but she keeps a tight grip on her light. For now.]
You should go. Before I hurt you too.
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[Barry keeps his distance, but spreads his arms, open, defenseless.]
You won't hurt me, Iris. I know you. I don't— [He laughs, shaking his head slowly, looks up at her again, and now there's a smile, a wonder in his face that wasn't there before. He's always loved Iris, but now? She's incredible. Can they help her? Maybe. STAR Labs has helped other metahumans find ways to rein in their powers. It's possible they could do the same for Iris.
But right now, he's not thinking about that. He's thinking about her.]
You're amazing.
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She might kill her family. Her friends. Her best friend.]
I can't always control it. And when I can-- You get a rush from saving people right? I get the same rush from punishing the ones that get away. You can't help with that.
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But...she can't like it. Not really. Right?]
Iris, you can't mean that, it's just, it's helping people, and sometimes...yeah, sometimes catching the ones that get away is really satisfying, and sometimes when they're really awful you wish... [You wish you could just step in and remove them from the world.] ...but you can't. Keep doing that. We can help you, Iris, I can help you, just, you have to let me.
[He's getting closer. Slowly. Small step by small step, hands still held out at his sides, unarmed, truce, he's getting closer.]
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Stop, Barry--! [Iris doesn't have full control of her powers yet. It's tied to her emotions and she's angry and scared of hurting him so when he gets too close, her fist flexes at her side and there's a flash of blinding light. He's fast, he can dodge it if he tries.]
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I'm still fine, Iris. I don't think you'll hurt me. I trust you not to hurt me.
[Is it unfair of him to say that? Probably. But she needs to learn how to control her powers, and this is the only way he knows how to help her before someone else gets hurt, or worse.
He doesn't come closer again, but he keeps talking, slow and quiet, with a sad half-smile.]
Remember that really bad thunderstorm when we were kids? The blanket fort? You didn't want to be scared then, but you were, and so was I, and we both pretended we weren't. I'm scared now, Iris, and I know you are too. But I don't want to be scared of you. I'm not. Don't be scared of yourself.
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He could get used to it, if he's honest. Obviously he wants to get home, he needs to, he already misses Joe and Iris, and Caitlin and Cisco and even Wells, and he can't just leave Central City without a hero. But this feels like a, a chance to take a break. And he takes breaks, Caitlin and Cisco make sure, but this time it's with someone who gets why it's so hard to take a break, and that feels different.
They're perched on the back of a car, with another box of doughnuts—Kara had claimed one place had the best, Barry had asked how he was supposed to believe that, clearly they needed to try a lot more—and he's actually comfortably full for once.]
I can't believe National City has a drive in movie theater. That's so cool. You come here a lot?
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[Part of Kara feels bad for being here—a bright smile stretched across her face, a box of delicious doughnuts resting on her lap—because she'd promised to help Barry get home, hadn't she? Told him if he helped her (or rather, Supergirl) take down Livewire and Silver Banshee, she and her friends would do everything in their power to get him back home. So there's a little guilt. The reminder that she should be keeping to her word, not temporarily breaking it by extending the stay of Barry Allen's time on her Earth.
That said, it's not like Barry declined her invitation of doughnuts and a drive in movie. No, he accepted with that wide smile of his. So maybe there's no need for her to feel bad or guilty. After all, if there's no immediate rush for him to leave tonight, then she should stop worrying about keeping him from Central City and the heroics he performs as both Barry Allen CSI and the Flash, and start enjoying what time she has left with him. Because he has to go home eventually. It's something Kara has accepted, even if she wishes he could stay.
It would've been nice to have another hero around, someone capable of the impossible, a friend who understands what it's like to lead dual lives and the separate responsibilities and pressures that come with them. Yes, she has her cousin, Kal–El, but Kal (or Clark or Superman, depending on the time and place) isn't around as much as Kara would like him to be. But then, at the same time, when faced with a problem or dealing with a struggle, Kara prefers not to go flying to her cousin, for as much as she'd sometimes like to, she still feels the need to establish herself without being defined by Superman.
Now isn't the time for those thoughts, though. Now is the time for digging into the best doughnuts in National City and spending time with Barry. At Barry's question, Kara touches the side of her glasses, adjusting the way they sit on her face. It's more of subconscious thing than anything.]
Uh, no. No, I don't. This is actually my first time coming here.
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[It’s cute, the way she touches her glasses all the time when she’s wearing them. He’s watched Wells—two of them—fidget with their glasses before, but it’s not the same. They do it because they need them to see. She touches hers like she’s reassuring herself they’re still there. The mask is still there.
What would it be like, to wear a mask in your every day life instead of when you were out saving people? Really lonely, he thinks. Really hard to remember who you really were, except around only a few people. Everyone knows Barry Allen, almost no one knows the Flash, but for her, almost no one knows Kara Zor-El.
Which is her alien name. That’s so cool. The thought makes him grin at her again, bright and excited. He’d never thought he’d meet someone like her.
And yeah, they each have their own box of doughnuts, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t just speed-snatched one out of her box.
That totally never happened, what do you mean?]
How come?
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They both needed to move on, right? Him from Iris. Her from Ronnie. And it makes sense that maybe they could try...doing that...together. Right? The idea made him move with a little bounce in his step wherever he went, and made the Flash a little lighter on his feet, and when he gets back to STAR Labs that night, he sticks around after everyone's gone, and he knows that lingering in the doorway to the Cortex makes him look like an awkward teenager, but he can't help it.]
Um. Hey, Caitlin. How're you doing? With everything?
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They'd been out a few more times after that, and she'd started to feel... hopeful. After Ronnie, she was sure she wouldn't feel like this again, that she couldn't feel like this again. She was a bit more cheerful that day, a bit more like she'd felt before the explosion. She lingers in the Cortex, entering the last bits of data from the readings on his suit. It's not anything she has to do tonight, but it gives her an excuse to be the last one around.
She turns in her chair, smiling at him. ]
I'm... I'm okay, Barry. Really. How are you doing?
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I'm okay. A little worried about my dad, y'know, after what happened. But, I mean, I know he'll be fine. He's fine. So I'm fine.
...listen, um. [He rubs the back of his neck, wondering why this is hard all of a sudden.] I was thinking earlier about how...we were, y'know, we went out, and. [He huffs a little laugh, bracing his hands on either side of his hips as he tips his head, ducking it, a little sheepish, and slants a sidelong look at her.]
I kinda...Caitlin, I. Like you. And I didn't really expect that, but you're really...you're warm, and you really care about everyone, and you're really pretty when you're concentrating, and. Um. I know it's not a great time for, for either of us, and if you want to tell me off, you absolutely can, but... [And he trails off, because he's been talking for a while and if he doesn't trail off, he'll never stop.]
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It's entirely endearing.
She can't say she's expecting this, though. She isn't expecting to hear him say that he's been thinking about the same thing she has. And now he's putting it into words, in his way, of course. The rambling alone makes her smile grow wider. She should interrupt him, save him from the way his words keep spilling out. But then she might not hear any more of those compliments that bring a little color to her cheeks.
There's a lull, and that's when she'll take her chance. She moves closer to him, rolling in her chair until she can put her hands over his, until she can draw them away from his hips. ] Barry. I don't want to tell you off. I — I didn't expect this either, I didn't think I could like someone like this again. Like I like you. You've given back so much to this city. As the Flash and as Barry Allen, CSI. You help make this place feel alive again. And you have the biggest heart of anyone I know.
[ She squeezes his hands gently. ] So yeah, maybe it isn't a good time, but... I think it is.
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C'mere?
[It comes out as more of a question than he'd expected, but maybe that's understandable. This is new, it's unexpected for both of them, and even Barry isn't entirely sure what he'll do next if she gets up out of that chair and comes closer. Well, he has a few ideas, he'd increasingly like to kiss her right now, but...it's new. And going slow, it's not in his nature anymore, but he can, if that's what she wants.]
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But him asking, him pulling gently at her hands, it makes this even better. They'd both said the right words, and neither of them are really given to speaking empty ones, but words are much more effective with actions behind them. She uncrosses her legs and uses his hands to pull herself standing, not wanting to let go.
On her feet, she's closer to him now, but not close enough. Standing makes how their fingers are interlaced awkward; she lets go, only to rest her hands on his shoulders. She doesn't want to go slow — she's spent a year mourning Ronnie, a year with her life on hold. A year holding her breath. Her hands slide past his shoulders and around the back of his neck, and it's her turn to tug ever so gently. It's permission, it's asking, just short of a demand. ]
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He knows Caitlin, he's seen the way she's been hurting, and he's been hurting, and this doesn't hurt. She's warm and kind and beautiful, and at least for right now she's here with him, and they're going to take a break from hurting.]
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He smiles as he leans close, and she smiles back, her eyes closing as she lifts her chin. There's two almost near-misses, two barely-there touches, and there's a second where she worries that he's changed his mind. But it's gone as his hands grip her waist carefully, as their lips touch and part and she breathes him in. One hand slides up his neck, her fingers threading through his short hair. It's an urgent, needy touch; she's wanted him and this and part of her can't believe it's happening. ]
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Someone else might walk in, or walk back in, or the metahuman alarm might go off and he'll need to be somewhere else, but there will always be a something-else that will come up. He doesn't want to wait around for a perfect moment anymore, he wants to make one.]
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Her lungs burn faintly; she needs to take a breath but she doesn't want this to stop. If she pulls away, will he decide that he regrets this? But the ache in her chest grows insistent, and she turns her head just slightly, just enough to break the kiss, her lips dragging to the corner of his mouth, his jaw, as she catches her breath. ]
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Caitlin... [He takes a breath, looks down, shifts to rest his head against hers.] Yeah, I think it's a good time. It's never a great time for anything, right? So maybe we need to make our own time.
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[ After the explosion, after Barry came out of his coma, their lives were always going to be complicated. Being the Flash, being part of the team that supported the Flash, these aren't jobs you can take a vacation from. Or a leave of absence. A day off here or there, that would be possible, but they both will always be needed. ] We can definitely carve out time for ourselves. Even if we can't get away from here. This place is awfully big and awfully empty.
@golden-glider
Which is how he found himself adjusting the bow tie of a tux and really wishing he didn't need to leave the red suit behind. Luckily Lisa already knows who he is, that's one reason he'd decided, reluctantly, to do things this way. He doesn't look up right away when he hears her come in, still trying to get the tie to lie flat, before finally undoing it and speed-tying it again, better this time.]
This is probably the weirdest thing I've had to do so far since I started being the Flash. [Then he turns around and:] Oh wow. Lisa, you look amazing. ...you look so far out of my league.
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And that plus one was none other than The Flash.
She was not seeing the appeal in this whatsoever, but it was nice to be owed a favor, really. She was going to keep telling herself that. And she still had every intention of leaving with at least something shiny in spite of it all. She liked a challenge.
Her grin is pleased and a little wicked as she takes him in, accepting his compliment by way of her slow once-over, lingering on his bow tie, then his lips, and finally back up to his eyes.]
This is the weirdest thing?
[She doesn't even try to hide her amusement.]
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I mean, don't get me wrong, I've seen a lot of weird stuff. Don't even get me started on King Shark. But usually I can just be, you know. The Flash.
[And he's nervous. This is uncharted territory on a couple levels, and he has to hunt down a villain in the middle of it all. One more glance into the mirror, and a scrunched-up 'I guess this will have to do' look, before he turns back to Lisa and offers a resigned smile.]
Thanks for helping with this. Are you ready?
[They aren't running there, there's a car service, which in itself is making Barry feel uncomfortably like they're going to prom.]
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She almost wants to reassure him. To somehow explain that just because he isn't hiding his face it doesn't mean that his is the one he has to show. That some people don't need a mask to blend in, disappear, or be someone else entirely.
Masks are for people who care too much.]
Don't thank me yet.
[She smirks as she steps further into his space and adjusts his bow tie infinitesimally. It still looks better, somehow.]
Ready when you are.
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There's no real sign yet of the guy he's after, but they hadn't thought there would be until he was ready to make his move, so once he's adjusted a little more to the fancy reception atmosphere, he's got some time to look around. And maybe to think how, well, yeah, how nice it is to have Lisa in his corner. She knows what she's doing. Better than he does, that's for sure, but he can fake it well enough, and she can fake it really well, and they're actually blending in.
Which is why, when he spots a beat cop Joe is friends with, he starts in that direction without really thinking about it, fully intending to say hi, entirely forgetting that, technically speaking, he has a criminal on his arm.]
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So when Barry starts for a cop, Lisa's hand on his arm tightens, but he's not stopping, and ripping away from him would draw more attention than... well, maybe she could draw a less comfortable kind of attention.
She takes a breath and steps fast, gracefully in spite of her heels, and curves in front of Barry just as they approach a pillar that would put them out of sight of the cop, though not out of sight from the rest of the room, necessarily. She grips his lapels simultaneously and pulls him into her, her back against the column, and any further warning he's going to get comes in the form of an absolutely lethally wicked grin before she's kissing him hard.]
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Any thoughts of saying hi to someone he knows at the party have long since evaporated, even in just a few seconds.
When she lets him go, about a year later, he's wide-eyed and flushed, staring at her in surprise from only a few inches away.]
Wh...what was that for?
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Her hands slide over his chest, smoothing his lapels, then up to cup his face, thumbs stroking along his jaw, wicked smile curving into a smirk.
When she answers him her voice is low, mouth still just inches from his. She almost considers lying.]
Were you going to introduce me to a cop, Barry?
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[Barry glances back over his shoulder, not seeing the guy he'd been heading toward. Which is probably good, because, uh.]
...I guess I, uh, yeah. Technically, yeah. But not, like...you know, not on purpose.
[The way she's touching him is really distracting. It shouldn't be, he knows it's all an act, but one of his hands has found her waist, and it's hard to step back. Hard to step back, hard not to lean in again—
God, focus, Barry.]
Sorry. I'm just a little on edge I guess.
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The truth is, she's enjoying touching him. Would enjoy continuing to touch him. Would definitely enjoy pushing more of his buttons and dragging this out, whirling him in circles until he can't remember which way is up, and then vanishing without a trace, but she's not there to play with him.
Well. She's not there entirely to play with him. She's there for something shiny, and that means she should probably set him back on track.
Her smile twitches as she hums quietly, accepting his eventual answer, and explanation.
Her thumb strokes over his lips, her voice an exaggerated, sultry purr.]
Relax.
[And then she takes pity on him.]
Any sign of your mark?
[Like she hasn't just utterly sidetracked him on purpose.]
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...yeah. I think so. Just came in.
[And just like that, he's all business, face stony as he watches the man swagger in, his jacket almost hiding the equipment underneath it.]
You see him? White dinner jacket thing. Kinda lumpy. Looks way too happy to be here.
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So what's the plan?
[Hopefully it doesn't involve her too much... or at least involves her in a way that won't get her arrested or dead. Or worse, hurt her reputation.
Don't try to make her look like a good guy, Barry.]